Week #23: St. Thomas Lemonade

In continuing with our tropical theme, while at the same time fantasizing about warm tropical islands, St. Thomas Lemonade is the perfect antidote. Mary feels that "lemonade" is a stretch, but was excited about the fact that whiskey was an ingredient. Who wouldn't be excited about whiskey at 2:30 on a Saturday afternoon? (especially since this was cocktail number two......)

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 4.0 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 4.0 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 4.0 skull and crossbones!

We unanimously agreed (for the first time ever maybe) that this drink was great! Nina is a whiskey neophyte in that it is not an alcohol she tends to go for. The very first sip warranted the following comment..."I'm drunk just from smelling it." However, with an additional splash of sour mix, the drink became the stellar version that was quickly consumed over tantalizing conversation involving family squabbles, puppies, and oral sex. As Mary pointed out, "It's just good! It's a solidly good drink!" And we both agreed that we would "totally" drink it again. As should all of you.

It's as saint-like as Mary.

This drink is classy and a half.

Week #22: Coastal Kiss

After a long and tiring (and cold) week, we needed a cocktail that would lift our spirits and help us forget our woes. Therefore, the name of this cocktail jumped out as the answer to our wish. When the drink was first blended, it reminded us of a pina colada. We then discovered that.....

...it tasted like one!

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 4.5 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 4.5 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 4.5 skull and crossbones!

This drink was super tasty! Nina exclaimed, "This is totally one of my new favorites!" Mary drank it quickly with a twinkle in her eye. It reminded the bloggers of a summer day despite the gloomy forecast which predicted 1-3 inches of snow (seriously, New England, so not cool). This Coastal Kiss is great for any season! So pucker up and raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways.

It's as delightful as your first (coastal) kiss.

It's double classy only if tongue is involved.

Week #21: " I LOVE IT"

We decided at the last minute to blog, but didn't have our cocktail cards which means no recipe or ingredients. So we opened up the liquor cabinet (happiness), and picked a few random bottles, and mixed it together! A little dangerous.....but we live on the wild side.

We would also like to welcome our first guest blogger. Siobhán (Gaelic friend/alias) was a delightful addition to our duo, and offered some wonderful insightful comments.

The drink was composed of 2 shots of midori, 2 shots of vodka, 2 shots of peach schnapps, and 4 shots of sprite.

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 3.25 skull and crossbones.

* Nina gives this drink a 2.5 skull and crossbones.

* Siobhan gives this drink a 4.0 skull and crossbones.

Averrrrrage score: 3.25 skull and crossbones!

Siobhán said, "I LOVE IT!!! but then it tastes like medicine...." Nine-ah from Carolina says it was very very sweet. Mary the fairy who has a canary agreed that it was sweet, but the alcohol was very welcomed. Although, it had vodka in it that makes her a mean drunk. She quickly switched to tequila. The group agreed they would "maybe" drink this again, and if maybe only forced to do so.

I LOVE IT. Drinking on a work night is wonderful because it takes away the stress of having to work 15 hours every other day of the week.

The warm weather is on its way which means drinking will be done outside. Drinking is fun - drinking with friends is more fun - drinking with friends outside is amazing. Carry on, friends, and drink with joy.

Week #20: Martini

Absence makes the drinks grow stronger. That is our excuse for the prolonged absence. We apologize greatly our dear friends, but never fear....we are back and ready to party! We are both ashamed to admit that we have never actually had a full martini to ourselves (that wasn't flavored or some shade of pink or green). Therefore, we look forward to sampling this adult beverage that only old people drink.

The recipe allowed for two versions of martinis: one with gin and one with vodka. Each of us had a preference (gin is an evil alcohol), so we made both kinds. The martini on the left was the one with vodka and the one on the right was made with gin. We both sampled both drinks so as to provide you with the most comprehensive and educated opinion possible.

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

Version made with GIN

* Mary gives this drink a 3.5 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 1.5 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 2.5 skull and crossbones!

Version made with VODKA

* Mary gives this drink a 2.5 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 2.0 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 2.25 skull and crossbones!

So the verdict is in....Nina is a wuss when it comes to regular martinis and Mary is a gin-aholic. Our drink clearly didn't look like the picture on the card leading us to believe that the kind of vermouth we used was not the one intended. Color aside, the flavor is definitely unique and we didn't have any past experiences to compare it to. The martini made with vodka SLIGHTLY resembled a cold version of the swedish drink "glogg", with less spice and depth. The gin one just sucked (in my opinion). In one blogger's opinion (Mary), it was delicious and she claimed she would drink it again. Weird. If you are over the age of 50, you'll love it.

The flavor is as unique as a drag queen's Kesha performance on Pride Day.

How can a martini be anything but double classy?

Week #19: Curacao Cooler

This blog has had some great experiences with green drinks in the past, so we decided to go back in hopes of finding another hit. And although the color of this drink looks like paint, we forged ahead in the spirit of exploration. Swing...and a miss.

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 2.0 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 3.0 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 2.5 skull and crossbones!

Sooooo....it's orange juice. Thats what it tastes like. Aside from the color, we would have no idea it was anything but orange juice. It is unimaginative and has a lot of ingredients for very little benefit. It's not bad, it just isn't anything to write home about. Maybe if there was much less OJ and not so much lemon, but even then...BORING. In addition, this card had an error (or maybe we just don't understand the difference). It called for both a "twist lemon" and a "lemon twist". OK Wenchies....anyone know the difference? Or is it a typo? Either way, excessive lemon is no one's friend. Hello heartburn. So, drink of it what you will, not worth the effort in our opinion. Save the OJ for breakfast.

It's as boring as being a landlubber (by pirate standards of course)

It has no class because it does nothing to excite the taste buds.

Week #18: Piece of Ass

This drink, in some circles known as "the Mary", was quite the experience (as is Mary). We were certainly intrigued by this week's drink title, and just like our friend, it lived up to the name. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 4.0 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 4.5 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 4.25 skull and crossbones!

Is there anything better than a Piece of Ass on a long weekend? Although the drink is served in a cordial glass, it's just enough to satiate our appetites for something sweet and strong (the way any piece of ass should be served). Nina reminisced how this 'piece of ass' reminded her of college days when Armaretto Stone Sours were the drink of choice, however this week's drink is much more fit for "young adults" who are a lot more mature than those college kids. Mary commented on how its sweetness reminded her of the lollipops you get when you go to the bank. You know the ones, there isn't much to them aside from sugar and coloring, oh, and their cheap, clear, cellophane wrapping. Alright! So, all you young adults, drink up and enjoy this mature Piece of Ass!

It's as sweet, quick, and surprising as Hugh Hefner in bed.

It's double classy, thanks to the cordial glass.

Week#17: Havana Cocktail

As the saying continues on, "First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the treasure chest." This was clearly the case in this week's drink. The Captain is definitely here and ready to rock with his wenchies! So be aware, the Captain is comin' for YOU!

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 4.5 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 4.25 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 4.375 skull and crossbones!

Dee. Lish. Us. This drink is extremely easy to drink and as our motto goes, "What isn't good with pineapple juice in it?" We recommend trying this drink with out the lemon juice in it, it's really not needed. This drink seems appropriate to make in large quantities to have out during your next pirate party (as we know you throw them frequently because of these incredible drinks you read about on this incredible blog). We deem this drink drinkable for the following situations: after work, on the weekend, when it's hot, when it's cold (we mean the weather of course), during your lunch break, in a blizzard, actually...let's be honest, drink this when you can because it's yummy and helps you feel like you're in the Havana heat.

It's as Cuban as Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights.

This drink is classy. Doubly so if you're at a pool party.

Week #16: Latin Lover

Like the old saying goes, "First is the worst, second is the best..." So let's hope that the second drink of the year is a bit better than its predecessor. All you tequila fans out there should take note: this drink needs a doctor because you will have to NURSE it!

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 3.5 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 3.5 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 3.5 skull and crossbones!

Picture this: you come home from work on a cold winter's night and need a little pick-me-up in the form of liquid intake. So you go through your cabinets and find some tequila left over from your margarita party and some amaretto left over from who knows when. No worries wenchies, we have the perfect solution - Latin Lover! As Nina put it, "this lover is strong and sweet, with a bite." And let's be honest, any lover with those qualities is sure to help you relax *wink wink nudge nudge* . Drink with caution....and with some food in your stomach. But enjoy the red it puts in your cheeks! And the drink as well!

It's as caliente as Ricky Martin's leather pants in the late 90s.

It's double classy...because we are drinking it out of scottish crystal scotch glasses. Out of a paper cup? Single classy. :)

Week #15: Coral Reef

Happy New Year, wenchies! We apologize for our holiday hiatus. We drank other drinks and were busy with holiday cheer. However, we are back and ready to continue your drinking education (and ours). Clamoring fans want to know... what is the first drink of the new year?

If you're looking for an awesome new drink, this one isn't it. It sucks. It looks pretty and has potential, but it sucks.

Skull and crossbones rating scale from 1-5 (5 is the best)

* Mary gives this drink a 1.0 skull and crossbone.

* Nina gives this drink a 2.0 skull and crossbone.

Averrrrrage score: 1.5 skull and crossbones!

This drink looked pretty, had good ingredients, but deceived us. As Mary put it..."I don't want to drink chunks." This is what happened when crushing the strawberries into the drink. After our initial sip, we decided the strawberries and the alcohol didn't mix flavors, which made the drink taste like a big glass of alcohol with chunks of strawberry floating in it. Therefore, we added strawberry preserves (as recommended by the card) and blended the entire thing in a blender. This helped, but the drink still tasted like ass. A splash of sour mix couldn't even pull this drink out of the dumps. So under no circumstances should you drink this. It really sucks.

PS the color wasn't even coral, so not only did the taste deceive us, the card LIED to us.

It's as shitty as a port-a-potty.

This wasn't even close to being single classy, let alone double classy. Please.